Saturday, March 25, 2023

Talk to him openly

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Stingy friend – Thomas Meyer advises

Talk to him openly

A longtime friend is very wealthy like me. He belongs to the Jewish community. His extreme stinginess made me (m, 63) end the relationship. How can we get back together?

Thomas Meyer

Thomas Meyerwriter and columnist

Apparently you make a causal connection between this man’s Judaism and his stinginess. “If he weren’t Jewish, he wouldn’t be so stingy and I wouldn’t have a problem with him” – that’s roughly what your logic will be. The Judaism of this man has no place in your question, since you are allegedly bothered by his stinginess. Nevertheless, you incorporated his ancestry into your letter. This means that you not only have resentments against stinginess, but also against Jews.

You may not even be aware of this. The problem with prejudices is that we don’t think of them as prejudices, but as facts and therefore never question them. Especially not when a person corresponds to our stereotype. Then we are fully convinced that we have living proof in front of us.

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