women marry themselves
Yes, I want me!
Saying yes to yourself: It goes so far that women marry themselves, with a wedding dress, ceremony, ring and guests – only the groom is missing. Is so much self-love still healthy?
Published: 13 minutes ago
She celebrates her 30th birthday as a wedding: Selena Gomez. selenagomez Verified Thank you @versace @kateyoung @laurenjeworski @hungvanngo @marissa.marino @tombachik
Katja RichardEditor society
Actually, you only do it once in your life, and you can only do it together: get married. Many young women dream of the big day with a wedding dress, ring, cake and party. But what if that dream doesn’t come true?
As for Selena Gomez (30). “I always expected to be married by the time I was 30,” the singer told Rolling Stone Magazine. So she just gave herself a wedding for her big birthday. In addition to the pink glitter dress, the party included a multi-tiered cake and a stripper – only the groom was missing.
Act of emancipated self-love
She’s not the first to celebrate a wedding without a partner. The phenomenon is called sologamy. It is mostly women in their thirties who fulfill their oath of love with themselves. The act of emancipated self-love was already known in the hippie communes of the 1970s, and self-marriage reached the mainstream by 2003 at the latest: At that time, the film character Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker, 57) celebrated with herself in the series “Sex and the City”. herself – a statement against the stigmatization of single women.
Statement against the stigmatization of single women: film character Carrie Bradshaw marries herself in the cult series “Sex and the City”.
One who has said yes to herself is Luzia Mara Schucan (41) from Basel. She sat in a shamanic ritual with a rose in a red dress in front of a mirror: “Until I saw in myself what I was always looking for on the outside.” Everyone is looking for the other half: “First it’s about finding and accepting your own inner half. Then you are more mature for a relationship.”
A promise to yourself
Performs ceremonies for weddings, also for self-marriages: Luzia Mara Schucan.
Today, as a ceremonial designer, Schucan carries out baptisms, farewells and weddings – women who wish to marry themselves often come to her. This is celebrated with dress, ring and yes to yourself. Schucan: “It’s about making a promise to your own life, that is, what you commit yourself to.” It is a phase in which a woman is in the prime of life and also wants to celebrate. “It’s deeply anchored in us and is also part of our identity as a woman,” says Schucan.
Most women celebrate their self-marriage in a private ritual, others with great media coverage. Bisexual blogger Kshama Bindu (25) from Gujarat (India) tied the knot in June. In India, where most marriages are still arranged, this caused a controversy. It was clear to Bindu that she wanted to be a bride – but never a wife. “I want to show people that you are born alone and leave alone. So who can you love more than yourself?”
Emancipation or Princess Dream?
Is self-marriage an act of emancipation? For the couples therapist Margareta Hofmann, a traditional wedding does not become feminist by simply kicking out the groom: “He often acts as a supporting character.” The focus is on the princess dream. “It’s an egocentric dance around yourself and doesn’t go far enough. Because growth needs friction with someone else.” This is exactly what you long for: like Selena Gomez, who thought that she would be married by the time she was 30. Hofmann: “You also run the risk of overplaying what you actually want.”
Whether a pompous celebration like that of Hollywood star Gomez or a shamanic ritual – a later “real” marriage is therefore not excluded. Because one thing can get pretty lonely in self-marriage: the wedding night.