The Phenomenon “Evil Stepmother”
Mirror, mirror on the wall, is she the baddest of them all?
Prince Harry is now also dishing out against stepmother Camilla. We asked a family therapist what the “bad stepmother” phenomenon is all about.
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In his memoirs, Prince Harry (38) does not leave a good hair on his stepmother Camilla (75).
Leah ErnstEditor society
Prince Harry describes his stepmother Camilla (75) as a “dangerous villain”. King Charles had an affair of many years with the current king consort. When his marriage to Princess Diana (1961-1997) fell apart, the public blamed Camilla. Although Diana affairs were also rumored, the press branded Camilla “Britain’s most hated person”. Her nickname: Rottweiler.
Whether it’s Cinderella or Snow White, we’re taught as children that stepmothers are mean and selfish. What is the evil stepmother narrative all about?
The difficult step role
“Accepting a new woman at the father’s side can be difficult,” says family therapist Claudia Starke (65). She is a stepmother and advises parents in the same situation in her practice in Wädenswil ZH.
“Of course I don’t know what exactly happened between Prince Harry and Camilla,” says Starke. But the children’s loyalty to their biological parents usually remains strong – even after death.
The stepmother gets into a difficult situation between being a mother and being directly compared to the biological mother. “If the stepmother steps too far into family life, the children’s rejection is inevitable.” Starke therefore advises not to see yourself as a surrogate mother, but rather as a close confidant of the children. This is how a loving relationship can develop.
Jealousy and new father role
Jealousy also plays a major role: children are jealous of the new woman. For the partner, on the other hand, it is difficult to be second. Starke: “That’s why it’s important for the father, as the biological parent, to show the children very clearly that he won’t be lost to them through the new love.”
And what about the stepfathers? “Men used to play the role of provider and women that of educator,” says Starke. That’s changing. As a result, more and more fathers today run the risk of becoming “bad stepfathers” if they take on the role of a surrogate father.